I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
