guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Alive.
So much puke
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
