I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
