So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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