how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
