If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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