Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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