I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
