Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
