Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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