I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
