anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
