He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
