im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
