Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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