So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
