Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
