that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
