please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
