Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
