So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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