we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
false alarm. still invincible.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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