Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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