The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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