his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
