So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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