you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
