Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
