Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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