I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
