thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
