my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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