I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
