You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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