Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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