giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
