yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
