somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
