I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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