Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We are two peas in an std pod
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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