You just made me feel so damn special
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
