she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
