Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
