so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
