You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
