my mouth tastes like poor choices
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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