i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
