No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
