I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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