Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you would pick up someone in the library
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
