If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
