if you like me you must not know who I am
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
as a side note pls kill me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
