i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
