check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
