once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
