I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
