so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
