you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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