My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
