My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
