2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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