If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
