I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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